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Monday, February 18, 2008

I'm Tired!!

Ok, I am kind of known for my positive outlook, and my cheeriness ( at least to those in the cyber-world)-not always in real life!

But, over the last couple days, I have come to a conclusion:


*tired of snow

*tired of sub-zero temps & blowing winds

*tired of worrying about the farm, cows, employees

*tired of looking for another employee
*tired of cows with issues
*tired of professionals who don't want to help us
ie.veterinarian, feed consultant
*tired of Sundays being non-stop from 4:30 am to 8 pm
*tired of Sundays being about everything but God and time in church
*tired of waiting for news of our adoption
*tired of feeling like a pawn in the world of international adoption
*tired of watching our little boy growing up in pictures
*tired of homeschool consisting of maybe 1 good hour a day
*tired of my house looking like a tornado struck
*tired of trying to fix 3 meals a day-and then doing the dishes afterwards
*tired of being sharp and angry with my children
*tired of no time for friends-except by email-real personal, huh?
*tired of worrying about when I can fit in my next nap
*tired of cows that calve at all hours of the night
*tired of quality time with hubby consisting of a nap together before lunch
*tired of trying to squeeze Bible reading into our family time at night-when we are all yawning and trying to stay awake
*tired of being tired!!

OK, I could go on for a bit more, but, I think you get the picture-I am weary, worn out, fatigued, exhausted, and running on empty!!
As my hubby said this morning-"Are we having fun yet??"
No, I don't have any answers, but sometimes looking at it all in black and white helps you to see a bit more clearly, at least venting helps to get it off my chest anyway.
I promise, the next post will be a bit more upbeat-It has to be, I can't take any more of this.


Shana said...

Vent away Chris, you deserve it! Hang in there, I know it has been some tough times lately for you and your family. I hope all gets better soon and that you don't have to see Tyler grow up in pics any longer. I can't wait for the day I see you all as a family! You have always been such an uplifitng inspiration to me.

Pure and Sensible said...

Just linked over from HOW loop. I pray that you will receive the Lord's rest soon. We've all been there. Tried in our own seasons. It's always nice to know I'm not the only one struggling. I pray you wouldn't lose heart (cry...yes, absolutely!), but lose heart...NO! I have a word for you: I pray your inward man would be renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Be blessed and encouraged dear sister in Christ. ~Leinani

Katie said...

Thinking of you.......

Precious Wonders & Little Monkeys said...

I'm sorry... I had to laugh... not at you but at the fact that you are soooo not alone. Life has a way of dragging us through the mud every once in a while (sometimes it goes on a mud spree). I think when we vent it all out... it's letting the Lord know when we've hit the boiling point or rock bottom and He always steps in. He may not always stop the things from happening but oh does the comfort He gives works. I'm right there with ya and just letting you know that I'm smiling through my tears right now. I'm so glad that you can vent... get it all out! Not only is it helpful for you, it helps us feel normal! Hope your day brightens and you can see that rainbow through the clouds! =0) Sara/Sofa

suzinorth2003 said...

i m tired from reading your tired m praying for you Chris for a grand trip some sleep to and back and that that snow would stop snowing and your little boy will grow up to discover to cure for cancer and all the other bad germs in the world. You keep on going on because this child just might be the one. love Suzi