"In Other Words" this week is a quote by a young college professor named Randy Pausch. I have heard of him on many blogs lately, and this morning spent a bit of time reading what is all going on with this dynamic young man. # 1, he is dying of pancreatic cancer. # 2, he is a Daddy to 3 small boys. #3, he has a lot to say about climbing over brick walls, instead of hitting them head-on-His last lecture is too close to home for me to be able to watch it all, as my brother's death became inevitable about this time 4 years ago, and the memories are just way too strong at this time to watch someone else go through it, but I am encouraged by the quote that has really hit a nail on the head for me today.
read more about Randy and his journey here
Brick walls, and all they symbolize, seem to be rampant in our life lately. I have been at an all-time low for energy, determination, excitement, and joy the last couple weeks, and have been bewildered by where it is all coming from.
It seems, we have hit a brick wall in farming. It seems the cows that were doing so well when we first took over this farm 2 1/2 years ago, are not doing nearly as well anymore. It seems the stray voltage we battled all summer, fall and winter has really taken its toll on our herd. It seems, adding another child to the family has added a lot of stress to my older children. It seems, the more employees we have, the more Chuck is outside managing things. It seems, homeschool is a hard road to navigate, and takes a lot of energy, something I am running very short on lately. It seems, my body is not as young, my mind is not as sharp, my memory is not as clear, as it was 4-5 years ago. It seems, my walk with God is not any where that I want it to be. My prayer life is near-to non-existant, my time in the Word is minimal, and my expectations of what He is doing in our life is at an all-time low.
Would these be brick walls? Could they be symptoms of today's society, over-burdened, over-run with responsibilities, guilt, expectations, or could they be tools God is using to bring us closer to Him?
Now, that is not something I had been considering lately. Usually, it has been, "Oh, Woe Is Me?' mentality. Usually, it has been, let me bury my head in the sand and let the world go on without me, or, just give me a pill so I can SLEEP!!
I know what the Bible says-In James, "Count it pure joy, whenever we fall into hard circumstances." Philippians says to rejoice always, Thessalonians says to Rejoice, for this is the will of God concerning you.
But, ya know, I also know what our life is saying-Somebody stop the train, I want to get off!!
I don't want to hear any more about cows and their feed issues, family members and their health issues, children and their jealous issues, employees and their time off issues, I just don't want to deal with all the STUFF going on lately-Brick Wall?? Yep, I think so!!
So what IS God trying to say to us through this? How do we persevere through, and climb over the walls, instead of throwing in the towel and quitting?
HMMMMM, that has been a looming issue in our family the last months-
Is God saying
- get out of farming
- slow down the pace of the farm
- get off the BST/hormone shots roller coaster for cows and get less milk
- go back to 2x a day milking with less employees
- make time in the midst of everything to thank and praise Him
- TAKE time off and let the farm take care of itself once in a while
- TRUST the employees to do their jobs and just leave them to it
- find a feed man/vet that can relate to our brown swiss/holstein herd
- TRUST HIM-wait for Him to lead, and be diligent in prayer!!
OH MY!! Of course, where I ended up is where we need to be right now-it is amazing when you write things down, the answer comes more clearly-and it's not like I don't think we should do any of the other 8 ideas that came to me, but turning our eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace--wonderful old hymn, my favorite phrase from it-seems to help me to WANT to climb over the walls we are encountering-not turn and run-Oh Thank You Lord, you are so faithful, we are so faithless-you give HOPE when we feel hopeless, you extend GRACE when we are depleted, you give us green pasture just for the day's needs, not a year at a time, help us to focus on that one day at a time, and wait on you for the really big issues, and restore our joy, both in YOU, and in our farm!
In Jesus' most precious and wonderful Name I Pray