almost 6 months since a post....

 

I find it hard to believe it was June the last time I wrote a post, and put pictures on this blog. YET, I know the last 6 months have been more busy than I could ever have imagined, with more ups and downs than I would have dreamed, and life has yet to find a "new" normal for our family.

I have always loved blogging, and sharing joys, dreams, fears, discouraging times, and meeting new friends along the way. I have gone back and read all the comments since the first of this year, and it has brought me great joy to know that we are NOT alone on this journey.

Adoption is SOOOO not for the faint of heart. It is exhilerating, it is exhausting. It is joyous, it is sad and filled with hours of grieving.

It is painful, yet it is like giving birth (or so I 've been told :)  )because you do forget all the pain when the hours of labor are behind you.

It is bone-wearying, soul trying, and mind stretching.

It is days of peaks and valleys, hours of training, training, training; it is minutes of praying, Help me thru this moment!

This past year is like nothing I/we have ever been through before.

To say there haven't been times when I wanted to just throw my hands up and say, I GIVE, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE would not be an understatement.

It has been a hard year.

It has been trying.

It has been filled with moments of defeat, yet hours of great WINS.

I have spent more hours on the road to or in Dr's offices ( and don't even go there with the $$$ for gas this year) and the year is NOT over yet.

I have spent more time looking at symptoms, analyzing behaviors, asking questions and researching chromosome deficiencies and talking to genetics specialists than I EVER thought I would be doing.

There have been days when we were sure we were tearing apart our family, instead of building a new one.

There have been times of deep grief over the family that was.

There have been days of deep pain over the family we are trying to become.

It has been hard.

no 2 ways about, just plain HARD!!!

and it hurts.

BOY, does it hurt.

The sleepless nights worrying about children's issues, worrying about siblings not loving one another the way we had hoped, worrying about why I/ we don't feel the way we THINK we should be feeling by this time into this new family.

The days of trying to stop 3 little dynamos with LOUD mouths from destroying the house,(and my sanity) yet trying to school 3 who don't have any issues, and trying to figure out how to school our oldest daughter so that some day, she can GET IT!!!!

Do we regret the past year?

I don't think so.

Do we wonder what would have happened if we hadn't gone this route?

I think we do sometimes.

Yet, I hate to say it, but those are the times when my selfish, what about me attitude really comes to the front, and I want to say, WHAT ABOUT ME.

Yet, it's not about me, or Chuck, or the 5 who were home first.

It is about 2 new girls, who are still trying mighty hard to find their way in a world that still leaves them quaking in their shoes.

It's about 2 sweethearts who, until 11 months ago, did not have a forever mommy and daddy, sisters and brothers.

Its about trying our hardest to blend all our lives together, and to give honor and glory to our Father, who orchestrated it all from the beginning.

The tears can come easily some days, but there are days when the laughter, giggles and simple joys win out over the night's tears.

We still have lots of diagnoses to ponder, lots of issues to work through, lots of PAIN ahead, as we continue to forge this thing called FAMILY.

Please keep us in prayer. Please continue to check in, leave encouragements, and keep loving us from afar.

We don't mean to be distant, we are just busy about our Father's work-even on the days when I think I have done everything wrong-and there are alot of those kinds of days around here-I am a very fleshly creature, I have discovered, and don't like to have so many unknowns, so many what ifs, so many unanswered questions still hanging.

And for those of you who knew we were buying a farm, the deal is off-yes, another MAJOR disappointment-and another MAJOR unknown as we ponder what next!!!

What is next for us Lord?

We are really trying to listen-even when our flesh gets in the way!!!

Blessings and love

Chris for all 9 of us:)
A few pictures from the last few weeks-
I'm not going to try to recreate the whole 6 months, blogger is way too slow for me!!

enjoying some fall fun in the leaves

a homeschool fieldtrip, and daddy got to go along too:)

the joy of cows in the barn, fresh milk in the fridge, and making butter and cottage cheese

another field trip-and a chance to hold a skunk

good byes are hard, and our beloved Speech Pathologist had worked with Isaiah for 1 1/2 years-but her schedule did not allow for 4 kids in Hillsboro on Thursday morning anymore-sigh!!!

yes, that's FOUR dogs-2still very much all puppy!!!!

fun on the gator this fall-all 7 fit!!!!

our first Christmas for this year-and 9 cousins gathered together at Grandma and Grandpa's house:)
I think we are stretching them a bit!!!

Rosalyn just discovered a BABY in her box-and she LOVES her

we might have a way to make these 2 best friends yet-they both LOVE dolls, and Grandma sewed some awesome clothes for the new dolly-who is named Jessa

after Christmas at Thanksgiving, some of us hit the woods with my Dad to bring in some wood for him-and it was a COLD day

mama duck hatched 4 ducklings, and did we enjoy watching them grow over the summer

I w as thankful to find pictures of the fireworks I missed as Isaac screamed through the whole show-the ONLY thing he is scared of, besides a car wash:)

 a family picture at the park after the girls' readoption in September

 Double the trouble, but 2x the amount of sweetness and cuteness!!!

2 little boys playing cars

gathering at the waters for baptisms this fall