Keeping a Quiet Heart

I have to be honest with you all! I have not had a peaceful or quiet spirit in the last couple months!

It seems this adoption process is getting tougher on us, even though we aren't first-timers. We are struggling with many things in the last few weeks, and I am in dire need of a major dose of His peace to stabilize me and keep my ship afloat!

I need some serious lap time with my Savior. I need to nestle into His chest, feel His arms around me, and let His quiet heart quiet my troubled heart. I need to let my plans and agendas drop, and let His will be done. I need to allow Jesus' peace to fill me and quiet me, and still the storm that is raging inside me.

I am like the faithless disciples, in the midst of the storm. They feared, they cried out, they were sure their ship was doomed. And basically, Jesus said, "Where is your faith?"

and I heard Him, in my tumultous heart, say that to me this morning.

Why am I letting myself get worked up into a frenzy of disappointment and despair, when we have the assurance that this adoption is part of God's plan for us, that our 2 girls will come home to us SOMETIME in the near future, and that we are in the business of ministering to orphans?

Why do I keep focusing on the "what if's" instead of the truths?

Why do I let myself "go there?"

Why am I like the raging sea, waves billowing about, feeling no sense of peace and calm?

Because I have chosen to allow myself this "luxury" of wallowing in self.

And boy, has it ever been HORRID!!!

My morning devotions consisted of near tears because I couldn't find my book I started re-reading this weekend-oh boy, how sad is that? And then I had real tears, because after I found it, the reading for the day was JUST what I needed to hear, see, meditiate upon, and cling to for dear life.

Of course, there comes with it a chastisement form the Lord for allowing myself to get to this point. The obsessing over how long, how many days, how much longer.....

trying to track every detail, trying to anazlye every possibility, trying to "make" it all happen according to MY plans-

Guess what? That's not how God does life, is it?

and it's certainly not how a godly woman (trying to be a godly woman) handles life in the midst of storms.

To say I have seen the light is an understatement. God has shook me good this morning, and I am so thankful.

He has shown me, again, that my unbelief, my fear, my anxiety, are not going to bring me peace, or bring Rose and Lilly home any faster. Nor will it provide a safe haven for my 5 children already in my home, nor provide my dear husband with the love and support he needs during the storms of his life!!

God is good, all the time. He put a song of praise in the heart of mine!

I am determined, and with His help, I will succeed, to quit obsessing, to quit over-analyzing, to quit raging, to quit denying He is in control!

A quote from Streams in the Desert, my devotional, will stay with me for the day, and hopefully longer than that:

"The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety." George Mueller!!

Another quote from today's devotion: You will never learn faith in comfortable surroundings. God gives us the promises in a quiet hour; God seals our covenants with great and gracious words, then He steps back and waits to see how much we believe; then He lets the tempter come, and the test seems to contradict all that he has spoken. It is then that faith wins its crown. That is the time to look up through the storm, and among the trembling, frightened seamen, cry, "I believe God that it shall be even as it was told me."

With God's grace and help, I will begin today to BELIEVE Him for all His promises, and all His plans, and "look up and claim victory"!!

Be blessed

Chris

Auction Time at the neighbor's farm

We had quite an event in our neighborhood the last Thursday of March.

Our neighbor had an auction, and most of the Amish from the county must have been there. It was just down the road from our house so we had a front-row seat for all the activity.

3 boys checking out the buggy on the sale-we kind of kidded about needing one with the price of gas and all!!! But, of course, we would have needed a horse too!

Kendell visiting with Jaime and Gail

admiring the Amish sickle mowers-all ready to be used

Dad and one of his friends having a good conversation

too cute!!

Isaiah enjoyed himself too!

The day will live in infamy for us, as it was the day we got our Pre-Approval for Rosalyn!!

Thurs. March 31, 2011!

Blessings

Chris

Happy Mother's Day!!!

This was waiting for me in my inbox this afternoon!!

Absolutely beautiful,

signed, Love Rosalyn Hannah

Pictures do say 1000 words, don't they!!!

Love, Chris

Another Daughter???

We are so thrilled to announce another wonderful Blessing we have received this week.

China has accepted our initial request to adopt 2 girls from the Guizhou Province.

Lillianna Grace, who will be 6 in June, has been living in a foster home since she was just days old.

We found her through another wonderful friend on our advocacy email group, and we feel she is another perfect fit for our family.

She and Rosalyn do not know each other yet, but we are sure having 2 older sisters along for the trip home will hopefully make her transition to our family a bit smoother.

She looks like she has tons of personality, and perhaps a shade of naughtiness in her.

We LOVE her pigtails!!

Tyler is beyond excited that he will have a little sister very close to his age.

Kendell is thrilled to have be adding a little sister to our family.

Nick is just happy our family is growing, age, gender, none of that matters too much to him.

We are flying through our paperwork and are very happy to have about everything done that can be done before our homestudy is completed.

There is way more paperwork than we are used to with Taiwan, and lot of hoops to jump through, but they all lead us down the road to our children, and we are pretty excited that this could all happen yet this year.

Actually, because of new regulations China has coming down the pike, it pretty much has to be done this year, and that has given us all a sense of urgency to keep on processing paperwork, filing for certificates and writing out checks.

Our social worker is on-board with an expedited process, and we hope to have the homestudy done by the middle of May-a new record for us, if we make it!!

We met with our homestudy sw on April 15, and can't believe that was only 1 week ago. It seems like so much is happening so quickly-BUT I know things can slow down when we file our immingration approval ap with the USCIS once the homestudy is done.

We have had notoriously horrid experiences the last 2 adoptions, and we are praying our success improves dramatically this time.

We will keep you all posted, as things come up, but keep us in prayer, as the timeliness of this is extremely crucial-the faster, the better!!

Blessings

Chris and family

Spring days on our deck

We had a happy little camper the day we set up a play yard on our deck. It was one of those really warm spring days, lots of sunshine, but still a nip in the air, and our housebound little boys just needed to get out and pig in some dirt. We left a pile of leaves for them to play in, brought up a pail of sand to spill all over, and a few fun toys, and then let them have a fun-filled afternoon.

Isaac is not climbing up the slide yet, by himself, but with some help, he can get up there, and he loves the sliding down part-smiles, giggles, and even when he lands, he is still all smiles.

Tyler had to give a few examples of how to use the triki-Isaiah is still not sure how to ride these things, but he will try anything if Tyler shows him first.

Isaac likes the sitting, not the moving part of these toys. But if you push him slowly, he will walk his feet along side it, so it won't be long and he will discover weigh-bearing and actually pushing himself along is very possible.

2 little boys enjoying the sunshine

Isaasc does not have an aversion to mud, but grass, that is a different story.

Kendell took Isaasc out into the cornfield to watch his big brothers try to fly kites. He had no problems scooting around in the mud, quite a difference from last fall when he wouldn't even touch it!

It was a great day for flying kites, but we didn't get a good picture-but they sure all had a great time!!

Now, this Saturday, we have SNOWagain, and cold wind, so we will have to stay indoors and look at these nice pictures to remember how much fun it was just a couple weeks ago!!

Blessings

Chris