He Is Risen!!!

Halleluah!

We serve a risen Savior!

He's in the world today.

I am so thankful that Jesus opened my eyes, I only wish I could

keep it all in focus.

Lord, turn my heart towards you, so the things of this

world grow strangely dim!!

Celebrating today, with all Christians, in our risen Savior!

In Him

Chris and Family

Look at the view outside MY bedroom window

It was a picture perfect scene

4 horses

a beautiful sunny morning

golden leaves falling from the trees

they were running and playing and teasing one another

the frost was the thickest we had so far this year-it was so heavy, it looked like snow

I am thinking it is a beautiful reminder to take each day in stride,

to count our blessings, instead of looking for something to complain about

I was not sure I liked our valley when we first moved here-I only saw a bottom, and I am used to looking down from on top of the hills

BUT, who could not love a site like this,

with the sun shining over the hill, down into our little haven?

God is certainly tolerant of me and my list of likes and don't likes, and thankfully, He is in the business of changing our hearts to be more like His. I am seeing more beauty in this place He has placed us, and feeling more peace, and seeing His hand in our lives, and loving where He has us, for as long He keeps us here.

Blessings dear friends!

In Him

Chris

PS

I took these pictures a month ago, wrote this 3 weeks ago, but just had to have them posted-too pretty to pass up !!

INTRODUCING....

Rosalyn Hannah

We are thrilled to bring you the latest news:

our family is adopting again, and we are even more thrilled that we will be adding another daughter to our growing family. Kendell is beside herself with glee over having a sister, she simply can't wait to travel to China to bring her home.

Rosalyn is living in the Guizhou province, in a conservative Christian foster home. She is learning English, she is homeschooled, she has made a profession of faith already, and we can't wait to see what more God has in store for her.

It was truly His hand that brought this all about, as we had no intentions of going this route, but through His carefully orchestrated events of the past month, we are very sure that this is His will for Rose, and for us.

We began to wonder about adding an older girl to our family, and raised some questions about how well a child living in a Chinese orphanage would adapt to our pretty conservtive lifestyle. There were many definite issues raised, and they were mostly things we had already considered-the extreme cultural change, their love for technology and tv and video games, their view of American families coming from Hollywood, and we sure don't measure up to a typical American family via Hollywood.

We were getting a bit discouraged, and all of a sudden, we received an email from a mom who had just returned from China, who knew the PERFECT girl for us. In fact, they have known her for 5 years. And to say she is a perfect fit for us is an understatement.

Rose is 13, and will age-out of the adoption process by her 14th birthday early next year.

We do not want that to happen. We are doing all we can to push through the very monumental mountain of paperwork in record time, so that we can bring her home well ahead of her 14th birthday. She is 11 months older than Nicholas, and will be 14 months older than Kendell. Both children are fine with that. Nick says, "I will still be the oldest boy!" and Kendell is only concerned with having a sister-age matters not one bit to her. A forever sister, a forever friend, a forever bond that she will have with Rose, that will last into eternity!!

We know not everyone will agree with us, not everyone will see eye-to-eye with us, and not everyone will even LIKE our decision.

BUT, we ask you to keep it to yourself, ok? This is our family, this is our prayerful decision. We have done many things in the past few years that many other families have not been asked to do, and we are being obedient to our Lord and Savior. It does not have to make perfect sense to everyone, as long as we are at peace with the decision, and we KNOW this is God's will for our family.

"I am a rose of sharon, a lily of the valley" Song of Solomon 2:1

This is the verse printed on Rose's prayer card, and it is also the verse God used in the past 10 days to reconfirm in my heart that she is meant to be ours.

We ask for prayer during this time for peace in her heart, and in ours, for strength to cheerfully get all the paperwork done, for speed for the process, and for God to knit our hearts together in love and joy before we even travel to bring Rose home!!

We know most of you reading this are thrilled for us, and Rose, and we are so happy to have you along on our journey.

May God's Blessings abound

In Christ's Love

Chuck, Chris and family

Sunday evening contemplations

Here we are, the start of another busy week-the end of another busy month. I want to ask again and again, "where does the time really go?" But I know the answer to that.

-helping my little ones with school work

-helping my little ones with house work

-helping my little ones with farm chores

-feeding my family

-clothing my family

-putting up food for my family

-helping my hubby in the parlor, milking, cleaning, cheering and supporting

-sorting through mountains of paperwork that is months behind

-sorting the daily/weekly clutter from our counters and cupboards

-planning, planning, planning

The list really does go on and on, doesn't it? But, through it all, I have to keep trusting that God will make a way, when there seems to be no way!! A Sunday without church is quite uncommon for us, but this was a busy weekend of chopping the corn silage, and as we are completely at the mercy of the custom harvesters, and their schedule, we thank God that the silage is ALL done in about 15 hours of hard work, that it did not rain on us, that we again have plenty to feed out cows for the next year, and that we are able to pay for it all-steep prices, yes, but we can pay for it.

This coming week has so many things on the schedule already, there hardly seems time for family time, God time, down time. But, we are looking forward to the science co-op field trip to the Crane Foundation on Friday, and then coming home to fly to a fellow church-member's home for pressing apple cider. 7 bushels should make about 22 gallons of cider for us to enjoy all year long-and it really is not that long of a process-thank goodness for their wonderful family and the cider press they share with all of us.

So yes, it is a busy season of our lives right now, but keeping perspective is what it is all about. If we get lost in the list of to-do's, we want to just shrivel up and despair over the busyness of our days. But if we choose a humble, joyful attitude, and thank God for His rich blessings to us, we can take the busyness much more in stride, and hopefully, with a lot more smiles and teachable moments than frustration and hurtful moments.

Happy Fall to everyone, and may God Richly Bless you !!

In Him

Chris

WELL, where have we been???

I can't believe it has been 2 months since I have visited my own blog, I actually had to stop and think, how do I get there, how do I get to "new post"!! UGH-I am continually amazed at how time just flies by-kind of sad when you stop and think-2 months are gone, never to be here again-makes me ponder the verse "redeem the time" , and how can I do that more effectively???

Well, a quick update on where we have been the last 2 months, and then in a few days, maybe I will give a few more detailed posts, with bunches of pictures, as things change so fast around here, only pictures can remind me where we have been and what we have been up to.

Seems to me, July was the month we started worrying about Chuck's mom. She was having bladder problems, and went in for several procedures, only to discover she had bladder cancer. After an unsuccessful first attempt to scrape the bladder to remove the tumor, the only other option they felt was good for her was total bladder removal-which didn't happen until Aug 28. For about 6 weeks, we were making regular trips to their home-75 miles away-visiting, encouraging, just being together. The surgery was quite intense and recovery required 9 days in the hospital, but the upside to it all is that she is now cancer-free!! Praise the Lord!!

On July 31, our little boy turned 4-he was sick, we were all worried about Marge's first surgery and recovery difficulties, but he was a champion, and thoroughly enjoyed his cake and presents-post with plenty of pictures will follow SOON!

!

The second week of August was a wonderful time of spiritual renewal as the church we attend held city-wide Tent Meetings, with various speakers, and each night, the service began at 7 and ended about 9-kind of late for us farmers, but what a wonderful week when God met many needs, opened many hearts to His truth, and healed many wounded hearts.

We were also in the heat of Home School planning for our new year. I now have 2 4th graders, and 1 pre-schooler. Tyler is not to be denied school time-he adores it, and wants to be just like his big brother and sister.

And just when you think you are really busy, we were planning a couple-night get away to my home town and time with Mom and Lee, and Dad and Ann, when an unthinkable thing happened. My Mom's brother, Butchie, was in a horrible car crash. He was hit broadside, and thrown into the back seat. After a long fight in the ER to keep him alive the first night, he was on a very precarious road the first 5 days-broken neck bones, broken facial, ribs, left arm, but thankfully, no paralysis. As of 4 weeks from the accident, the breathing tube has been removed, he is speaking some, he is starting to respond, starting to eat, and beginning rehab in the smallest degrees-although there are literally hundreds of hours to go before they even talk about letting him go home.

Please continue to lift him up in prayer-there is MUCH work to be done yet! And his family and he have a LOONNNGGGG road ahead of them!

His hospital is 2 hours one direction, Marge's hospital 2 hours another, and 2+ hours in-between-we spent a lot of time on the road in the last 4 weeks-life through a windshield is not a lot of fun, but it did give me some good prayer time, and some more good God time, as I have listened to many messages that have rekindled the embers of my heart.

We are now into canning season full-swing-we have done peaches, pears, some raspberries, sweet corn, green beans, and tomaotes, and apples will be coming soon. My raspberry bushes are huge and bearing a huge crop this year, but we are sharing our bounty with many friends-as long as they are willing to come and pick.

I still have potatoes and onions to dig, as well as many weeds to pull and fall tilling to do.

As for school time-we are thoroughly enjoying our science this year-we are doing Jeannie Fulbright's Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day-birds, insects, bats, anything with wings, and it is wonderful. We are doing it as a co-op with several other moms, 4 of us are taking turns teaching when we get our 16 children together every other week for 2 hours and review the week's lessons-very fun, very hands-on, and we are all falling in love with insects-they are just so interesting when you take the time to learn about them.

I will close for now-but promise to return in the not-too-distant future with more details from our summer and our home-school year. I have many pictures of Tyler that are begging to be posted, as well as news of our farm adventures-so, check back soon-and thanks to all who have kept checking for 2 months-I have had many posts written in my mind-if only for a laptop-all those hours traveling or sitting in hospitals could have been used to keep up on so many things-but, not to be.

Blessings In Him

Chris

In Other Words Tuesday-Valleys

Today's In Other Words Tuesday is a quote from a wonderful author I have a great deal of respect for-in fact, it is probably not a simple coincidence that I have decided to participate in this weeks' post, and this just HAPPENED to be the quote to respond/ponder/meditate upon.

When you are in a valley, it is really nice to know you are not alone, and that others have gone that route before you-and I am feeling like a pilgrim lately, lonely, fatigued, battle-weary-wondering where the joy went.

“The Christian life is a pilgrimage. At times the road is difficult and we get lonely. Sometimes we may get discouraged and consider abandoning the journey. It is at such times that God will place a friend alongside us. One of God’s most precious gifts to us is friends who encourage us and lovingly challenge us to ‘keep going.’ “ By Henry T. Blackaby & Richard Blackaby from their devotional book, Experiencing God

Ok, I am kind of surprised at the way God has chosen to bring someone along side me this time. It's not the hand-holding, lay your head on her shoulder and have a good cry type of friend, but I have been mighty encoouraged to keep on keeping on never-the-less.

In the midst of the valley of despair, discouragement and disgruntled confusion in which I have been contemplating next year's homeschooling, I have been feeling quite a failure, very inept, and basically a mess. All I see is last year's unfinished projects, last year's unmet goals and aspirations, and piles of papers I have found on the internet in an attempt to find the "PERFECT" activity for my children which will engage them, encourage them, and inspire them.

I wonder why I even attempt to teach my own children, when I feel my own life is such a mess of disorganization, unfinished projects, and disarray. Basically, I am having a pity party, and it hasn't been much fun.

Enter a dear old friend I had shelved for a while due to busyness. Wipe off the dust, open up the pages and begin to be refreshed, revived, and rejuvenated by the words of this dear book I have read several times already, but really needed the relief it provided this weekend.

No, it was not the Bible. But it is practically my homeschooling Bible. Written by another homeschooling mom, who has also written her own curriculum, Heart Of Wisdom Teaching Approach by Robin Sampson was just the instrument God has used to renew my vision for homeschooling and give me the gentle nudge I needed to trudge forward with new hopes and dreams for the coming year.

Robin has truly BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!

She knows how it feels to be defeated by circumstances, and to take your eyes of Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. She also knows the victory that comes with returning to our first love, Jesus, with a new vision and new sense of trusting Him to provide for our every need.

In the book, she compares our homeschool experience to the Israelites leaving Egypt, having their every need met by a loving and faithful God, and yet, they still manage to mess up, forget, murmur and complain, worship idols, and turn their eyes back to Egypt instead of focusing on the Promised Land.

Oh, how easy it is to let life carry us along on a riptide of emotions, instead of letting Jesus' grace and strength provide for us. How easy it is to take our eyes off Jesus, and focus on the difficulties, the failures, and the messes we create.

Well, I am not sure I am completely out of my valley-I still feel pretty empty when it comes to enthusiasm and zeal for the new school year. But, hopefully, with a bit more reading in HOWTA, as well as God's Word, I will find my strength renewed, and I will be able to mount up on wings as eagles, to walk and not be weary, to run and not faint (Isaiah 41:30).

So, even though we have never met in person, we have communicated a bit in email and I consider Robin Sampson a very good friend, and a worthy companion and mentor on this road of homeschooling, and I so appreciate her insights, her loving words of encouragement, and her reminder to focus on the one who gives us strength in our times of weakness.

And thank you to Bonnie at INK IT BLOG for hosting this week's In Other Words. Hop on over to her blog and read what others are writing about this week's quote, and be blessed along your own journey, wherever it may be taking you this week/month/year!!

In Him

Chris

Thankful Thursday-abundant life

Today is Thankful Thursday, and my list of thankfuls begins with my dear husband. My trusted friend, my lover, my hard-working, yet playful partner for life. He is burdened with many thoughts and worries about the farm, feed prices, and milk production, yet he is trusting God and desiring to give his anxieties to the One who can bear them better than we can. May he turn his eyes upon Jesus, and keep them there, even when the cares of this world do become a huge weight on his shoulders.

My next blessing this week is for my youngest son. Tyler has only been a part of the family for 3 months, but he has become firmly entrenched in our hearts and lives. He padded out of his nigh-night earlier than ever this morning, gave me a sleep grin and a "Hi Mama", then proceeded to climp up on my lap, lay in my arms, and I was so blessed by our quiet time together this morning before the older children got up.
My next thankful is for my dear aunt and uncle-I spent the day yesterday traveling 5 hours round trip to spend the day with them at my Grandma's house-they are preparing to head back to Colorado via Mayo Clinic. My Auntie Marlie has had rheumatoid arthritis for most of her adult life, has become severely crippled with the arthritis, but is still a smiley, cheerful, loving woman who loves her family and her Lord. Last year on their Wis trip, they also stopped at Mayo Clinic, and she was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia. This year, they are hoping to determine how far it has progressed. Praying for it being at a standstill!!!!
I am also thankful for rainy days that encourage us to slow down a bit and find some quiet time to rest and refuel.

I am thankful for God's protection during last weekend's storms-no power for 15 hours, flash floods roaring through our area, dams giving out, yet no loss of life! Praise God!

I am also thankful for our employees-without them, I would not have been in the house this morning to enjoy the rare, quiet side of my littlest son, or be inside when the thunder awoke the sleeping 9 year olds 30 minutes later.

I am blessed by the opportunity to be a wife, mother, friend, daugther, and to have the choice every day to speak life and encouragement to many women who read my words here, or on the email groups.

This morning, my time in the Word was spent dwelling on Jesus' words in John 10 where He speaks of being our Good Shepherd-and how He has come so that we might have life, and have it abundantly. I had to pause for many minutes and meditate upon that phrase-abundant life. We live in the land of abundance, we have abundant food, entertainment, choices, job opportunities, homes, etc, and yet, that is not the abundant He is speaking of. But how easy it is to get caught up in thinking those abundants should make us happy.
I want to strive today to focus on the abundants that we have that are not tangible, that we can't hold in our hand-His peace, His love, His grace, His salvation. Also, family, their love, their support and encouragement. Also, His Word, and how it never fails to amaze me how whenever I read my Bible, I come away with a nugget of truth I can hold onto for the day.
Join others on this Thankful Thursday at Iris' blog. See what other women are thankful for, and enlarge your own world as you contemplate how Good God is, ALL THE TIME!!
Blessings in His Name
Chris

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Today is Thankful Thursday, another blog meme that I need to partake in, as it is just so what my heavy heart needs-more praise and thanksgiving.

"Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father, there is no shadow of turning with thee,

All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided, great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."

1. Yesterday, we took Kendell to the dentist for THREE fillings-and my prayer for the last 3 weeks has been for her to have NO fear, no pain, no panic-and as I walked away from her in the dentist chair, praying, I had a sweet peace about the entire ordeal, as did she, as she never in the 3 weeks uttered one fear, one word of WHY?? and when I snuck back to peak at them about 20 minutes into the procedure, I could tell ALL was fine-and I had tears of thanks in my eyes at our Heavenly Father's unfailing provision, faithfulness and compassion on us, an unfaithful, forgetful, needy family.

2. I am so thankful that His love for us is not contingent upon our reciprocating that love, nor our time spent reading His Word, or our time worshipping. God just loves us, and as born-again believers, He desires for us to spend our days in communion with Him, and how disappointed He must be when we so easily are pulled away from our good intentions by the cares of this world.

3. I am thankful for the ability to communicate with other moms via the internet-even though it can become a time-waster if I am not diligent, it is a very wonderful way to communicate, to hold each other up, to bestow blessings of encouragement for those who need it, and to connect with others who GET IT about the daily issues we homeschooling moms face.

4. I am so thankful for the yahoo groups of adoptive moms that I am a part of. No one understands the ups and downs of mothering and loving adopted children like another adoptive mom, and my world would be much heavier without all the love and support we share there.

5. I am so thankful for warm weather-we seem to have a real problem this year coming to grips with the fact that it is no longer winter-we had such a long, cold, grueling, snowy winter for 6 long months, that I am continually blessed on our travels to see gardens and fields becoming lush with this year's new crops-seriously, I feel like my brain is stuck in February, and I have not really transitioned to June yet-

6. I am so thankful that God hears our prayers, He answers them in His timing, and according to His will. If we did not have the ability to connect with God, if we could not seek His face, and fall before Him inploring, interceeding for our/or others' causes, how could we possibly face the days' events? I KNOW God hears my prayers, I KNOW He loves me, and I KNOW I am a child of God. Those 3 things alone should be enough to help me overcome any and all obstacles the world and Satan have thrown at us.

Wow, nothing like a good dose of thanksgiving to give your morning a jumpstart, your heart and spirit a lift, and put a smile on your face.

Praying thanksgiving and praise follow me and my family throughout the day! Oh, the Power of Praise!

In Him

Chris

Tuesday In Other Words

Today I am joining the ranks of several other blogging women, as we contemplate someone else's words, and how they relate to our life and experiences we are walking through. This is a blog meme-which is something new to me, but if I like how it works, I may try keeping on track with other memes during the week, it at least guarantees a blog article a couple times a week.

read more about Randy and his journey here

"In Other Words" this week is a quote by a young college professor named Randy Pausch. I have heard of him on many blogs lately, and this morning spent a bit of time reading what is all going on with this dynamic young man. # 1, he is dying of pancreatic cancer. # 2, he is a Daddy to 3 small boys. #3, he has a lot to say about climbing over brick walls, instead of hitting them head-on-His last lecture is too close to home for me to be able to watch it all, as my brother's death became inevitable about this time 4 years ago, and the memories are just way too strong at this time to watch someone else go through it, but I am encouraged by the quote that has really hit a nail on the head for me today.







Brick walls, and all they symbolize, seem to be rampant in our life lately. I have been at an all-time low for energy, determination, excitement, and joy the last couple weeks, and have been bewildered by where it is all coming from.


It seems, we have hit a brick wall in farming. It seems the cows that were doing so well when we first took over this farm 2 1/2 years ago, are not doing nearly as well anymore. It seems the stray voltage we battled all summer, fall and winter has really taken its toll on our herd. It seems, adding another child to the family has added a lot of stress to my older children. It seems, the more employees we have, the more Chuck is outside managing things. It seems, homeschool is a hard road to navigate, and takes a lot of energy, something I am running very short on lately. It seems, my body is not as young, my mind is not as sharp, my memory is not as clear, as it was 4-5 years ago. It seems, my walk with God is not any where that I want it to be. My prayer life is near-to non-existant, my time in the Word is minimal, and my expectations of what He is doing in our life is at an all-time low.

Would these be brick walls? Could they be symptoms of today's society, over-burdened, over-run with responsibilities, guilt, expectations, or could they be tools God is using to bring us closer to Him?

Now, that is not something I had been considering lately. Usually, it has been, "Oh, Woe Is Me?' mentality. Usually, it has been, let me bury my head in the sand and let the world go on without me, or, just give me a pill so I can SLEEP!!

I know what the Bible says-In James, "Count it pure joy, whenever we fall into hard circumstances." Philippians says to rejoice always, Thessalonians says to Rejoice, for this is the will of God concerning you.

But, ya know, I also know what our life is saying-Somebody stop the train, I want to get off!!

I don't want to hear any more about cows and their feed issues, family members and their health issues, children and their jealous issues, employees and their time off issues, I just don't want to deal with all the STUFF going on lately-Brick Wall?? Yep, I think so!!
So what IS God trying to say to us through this? How do we persevere through, and climb over the walls, instead of throwing in the towel and quitting?
HMMMMM, that has been a looming issue in our family the last months-
Is God saying

1. get out of farming
2. slow down the pace of the farm
3. get off the BST/hormone shots roller coaster for cows and get less milk
4. go back to 2x a day milking with less employees
5. make time in the midst of everything to thank and praise Him
6. TAKE time off and let the farm take care of itself once in a while
7. TRUST the employees to do their jobs and just leave them to it
8. find a feed man/vet that can relate to our brown swiss/holstein herd
9. TRUST HIM-wait for Him to lead, and be diligent in prayer!!

OH MY!! Of course, where I ended up is where we need to be right now-it is amazing when you write things down, the answer comes more clearly-and it's not like I don't think we should do any of the other 8 ideas that came to me, but turning our eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace--wonderful old hymn, my favorite phrase from it-seems to help me to WANT to climb over the walls we are encountering-not turn and run-Oh Thank You Lord, you are so faithful, we are so faithless-you give HOPE when we feel hopeless, you extend GRACE when we are depleted, you give us green pasture just for the day's needs, not a year at a time, help us to focus on that one day at a time, and wait on you for the really big issues, and restore our joy, both in YOU, and in our farm!

In Jesus' most precious and wonderful Name I Pray

Chris

Blessings to Fred!!

I wanted to take a few minutes and tell everyone about a special friend of ours. Fred Amstutz is a 20 year old young man who is leaving on Thursday, May 22 for a year-long missions trip to Papau, New Guinea. He has been a friend of ours for about 5 years, and for most of 2007, he was also an employee and a housemate of ours.

Fred came to our farm a very green farm hand, and when he left, he was a very valued, handy employee/friend, and was able to do most anything on the farm except mix feed. He and Chuck spent quite a bit of time discussing cow-stuff throughout his days here, and he became a very handy vet's assistant.

One of their jobs that the 2 of them really had down to a science was treating fresh cows with a 10 gallon drench-

Fred was and is a valued friend, but we really enjoyed our time together as co-workers as well. My only regret about his time here was that we were ALWAYS SOOOO BUSY!

The children enjoyed working with Fred, and Fred enjoyed them-he also enjoyed the baby calves. He was the most patient calf-feeder we have had-if we had a big enough dairy to need a full-time nursery man, Fred would have had the job!
One of the many jobs he learned to handle was scraping the manure 2x a day while the cows were being milked
A rare down moment-Nick and Fred putting a global puzzle together-it was a wonderful time of learning more about world-geography, as well as sharing laughs
again, feeding calves together-always smiles and laughter too!!
Fred is a wonderful young man, with a true heart for the Lord. He is gentle and kind and very compassionate, and will make a wonderful missionary. We will be praying diligently for you and your family Fred, over the next year, and especially the next 24 hours, when you will be flying for 16 hours into the tropics-it is bound to be hot there!! May God richly bless you, and hold you in the palm of His hand until your return next year.

Many Blessings Dear Friend

In Him

The Waughtals

Maintaining Momentum

We have been listening to a week of messages at night that have challenged us and have turned our eyes back to Jesus. As a family, we would gather around the phone set to speaker, and listen for 75 minutes, and feel the pull of the Word of God drawing us back to Him, the One who wants to lead us through this crazy life we are walking.

The final night's message started out with comments encouraging all of us in continuing on this spiritual high we may have attained through the week of purifying, reviving and eye-opening truths. I really like that idea of maintaining the momentum from a spiritual mountain top experience. It has caused me many moments of thought and pondering, especially during my morning milking time.

Now, I know life can't be all mountain-top experiences. No one can sustain the energy that is needed for that kind of life. Our former pastor once told us that, "life is full of peaks and valleys, the mountain top experiences can't go on forever."

But...how do you keep the momentum going for long enough to make a difference, and establish new thought patterns and new habits in our lives?????

When I became born-again, what a spiritual high that was, and God immediately delivered me from some besetting sins that had plagued me mostly all my life. I was elated, enthusiastic and very verbal about my God, and how wonderful He had been to me.

Time passes, and we lose that focus.

Then, my husband got born-again, and we went through another phase of excitement, this time together (which is a much better way to go through these mountain-top experiences, and we brought our first child home from Russia on the wings of that experience.)

We went back to Russia for #2, and came home in a valley-emotional, physical, spiritual, it was a long valley, that took a year or so to climb out of.

We found a new church, a real Bible-believing family that loved us where we were at, and helped us to grow; another high!

We had wonderful nights of intense Bible-study with a wonderful man who taught us so much about spiritual warfare, and prayer, and we saw wonderful evidences of God's working in and around us for the entire time we met with him-another high.

We went to see Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ!! Wow, we were sure it was going to be a life-changing experience. How do you sit through the terror and horror of Christ's death, and not be profoundly affected by it? We both walked out of the theater in tears, sure our hearts would stay tuned to God for sure this time.

I have attended 2 Women of Faith conferences, and they were both amazing, and Christ-centered, and powerful, but, I came home, and within a week, found myself losing the momentum and zeal that had been rekindled.

What is this thing called "real life?" Why does it have the power to steal our joy, and take us down off that mountain of zeal and love for the Lord?

I am not doing an intense Bible Study on the problem, I am just chronicling my thoughts and opinions here, so I know there are scripturs that can back some of this up, but here are my thoughts.

Real life, when done in our own strength, and our own might, and our own way, will bring us to our knees with fatigue, worry, anxiety and stress. We think we can give God a few moments of our morning, listen to a little Christian Radio sometime during the day, pray intermittently, and give God a little time at night before bed, and we should be fed and nourished!

But God says, "it's not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit"

We lose the focus of the intensity of the teaching we have encountered, because we just head out into our day, and don't really connect with God before, during or after.

So, the question remains, "How do I stand firm, how do I remain strong, how do I keep the focus???" Why do I allow the world, my flesh, and Satan to waylay me countless times throughout the day?

I so badly want to live a life that is sold out to the Lord, that is lived with passion and purpose, yet I feel empty and powerless to follow through on even the simplest of plans I make. I do believe it has a lot to do with accountability. We need to have people around us who are committed to praying through for us, who will lovingly confront and uphold us when needed, and who are persuing the same goals and walking the same road as we are.

But, we also have an accountability with God, our Father, our Creator, our Savior, and our Friend. All we really need to do is ask Him, and if it is His Will, He will gladly bring it about.

Dearest Lord Jesus, It is my desire to be on fire for you, and to cast aside the things of this world that so easily deter us and sidetrack us. The tyrrany of the urgent is continuously before us, and you take the back seat. Focus our thoughts, and our hearts on you, your love, your grace, and may your grace be poured out upon us in unequaled measure. May your Holy Spirit strengthen and enable us to walk the straight and narrow road, without traveling down all the rabbit trails that sap our strength and energy. In Jesus' Holy and Precious Name We Pray